6 posts tagged “henry rollins”

I was up at the crack of dawn (thank you mobile for hissing at me) so I dragged my pathetic sorry arse out of bed and got ready for my day ahead.  I really hate working Saturdays but today ended up being a rather good day. 

I was eager to get home as it has not stopped raining and is bloody freezing cold in Melbourne and really rather miserable looking but I love it this way.  Anyway, enough about the weather as I’m sure you really don’t want to hear about it.  So I digress, I was eager to get home, throw the PJ's on, grab onto Elvis and use him like a hot water bottle and sit down to watch the muchly anticipated music doco “Punk Attitude”.

I have attempted to watch this doco on at least 3 occasions but have always been interrupted by someone or something.  Today though I got myself organized.  I unhooked the landline, switched my mobile off, put my laptop away (to help prevent any distractions) locked and double locked the front door and had a glass of V8 juice to my left.  PJ’s on, heater on, blanket covering my shoulders and let the doco begin. 

Punk Attitude is a music doco, which explores the history, generation and genre of the punk rock music scene beginning from the early 70's in the USA and UK.  The doco was written and directed by Don Letts who is a British DJ and musician who is credited as bringing together punk & reggae music.  He has spent a good chunk of his life documenting the punk explosion that hit the late UK 70’s.

It was an amazing doco that showed the cultural impact punk had on the music world.  There were amazing interviews with Henry Rollins (sorry Cat, I had to mention The Man once again!) Chrisse Hynde from The Pretenders, Jello Biafra from The Dead Kennedys (another truly amazing and inspirational man), filmmaker Jim Jarmusch, Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth and many others.

It was awesome seeing bands like The Ramones, Iggy Pop/The Stooges, MC5, Sex Pistols, The Velvet Underground, The Clash, New York Dolls and on and on.

It was awesome seeing the scene from someone who basically was responsible for creating the scene and seeing it go through from the 70’s to the 80’s to the present day.

I was buzzed to have finally seen the entire doco from start to finish with no interruptions!  Now, that I have seen it I need to own it and I wont rest until I get my own copy in my hot little hands.

All I have to say is get your hands on a copy and prepare to be blown away!

Reney

I was awoken by the screech of my alarm at 6am.  I opened my right eye slammed it shut and then did the same thing with the left.  Fark!  I’m 38 today!  I lay in bed for ½ an hour contemplating my day ahead.

6am

I work with a lovely bunch of people and they all love to celebrate birthdays.  I’m just a Birthday Grinch when it comes to birthdays.  I personally do not find anything exciting about celebrating ones birthday.  I just can’t be bothered with the whole thing. But keep reading as today ending up being just bloody brilliant.

 I received a ton of phone calls from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday and I find it so hard to be “YAY its my birthday” but I was polite and thankful and tried to act like I was happy to hear from them.

Again, FARK IM 38 today!  Where the fuck have the last 10 years gone?  I almost feel like its been blink and I’m here to today.  I have had a good 38 years filled with amazing highs and lowest of lows but there’s nothing special about that as we all have had the highs and the lows.

Do I feel 38?  There are days where I feel like I am 25 and since losing the weight that I have this past year I feel fitter and healthier than I did at 25 but maturity wise I think my head is still at 25.  Then there are days when I feel every muscle and joint ache and atrophy starting to kick in.

I drove to work muttering under my breath “please no one make a fuss at work, please no one wish me a happy birthday, please, please, please” 

I walked in with a hot cup of coffee in my hand and this is what was awaiting me at work, handy work done by Miss A.  It was very sweet and I was appreciative but I just wanted to start my work, work hard and go home. 

BdayWishes

Alas, things did not go to plan and I had call after call and sms after sms and a ton of emails.  The first phone cal I got was from one of my ex’s AJ.  He had me on the phone for an hour as he too (just like Jase a week or so ago) had his assed dumped by his girlfriend I sat listening to him and I felt sorry for him but then I turned on him.  Boy was that such a great feeling. 

I told him that Karma had bitten him in the arse and after ALL he had put me through it was now doing the same thing back to him, I then added that what did he expect from a 20 year old female (and he is 40) and with that I hung on him.  Happy Birthday Reney this is going to be the best day (okay second best as my BEST day in my life was meeting Henry Rollins) of my life.  I loved the taste of revenge on my tongue and my juices were just flowing.  Yay for Reney!!!

BossMan and Mrs BossMan bought in a cake to celebrate my birthday and I was really touched.  I had a tiny piece as I didn’t want to embarrass them for going to so much trouble and thank God it was cheesecake, as I can’t digest cake whatsoever. 

Then the most amazing thing happened to me.  At 4.54pm I checked my email and see this:

Irene, happy birthday

Henry Rollins

First I was gob smacked and then I thought Suez is messing with my head.  Without looking at the email address I replied back at 4.57pm

Suez, Are you fucking with me?

At 5.05pm I get this email:

Maam, your friend asked me to wish you a happy birthday and so I did. Hope you had a nice day and I've gotta go. Thanks. Henry

I ring Suez and demand to know what she has done as this smells just like her.  She tells me that she emailed Henry Rollins asking whether he could email me a happy birthday.  I by this stage was about to die!  Henry emails me and I am a rude smart arsed cow.  What the fuck have I done?  How do I respond to this email? How do I get out of this huge hole I’ve dug myself into.  Ohhh the shame! Ohhh the embarrassment and Ohhh Reney you’ve done it again!

So at 5.14pm I responded with:

Thanks very much Henry!

Irene

Now this is why I love Henry Rollins so much, because at 8.07pm Henry emails once again with:

Irene, you are ever so welcome. Take care. Henry

I started jumping up and down in sheer excitement and his emails were the best birthday presents I have ever received in my entire life.  I feel truly blessed to have such an amazing friend in Suez.  How cool of Henry.  No deadest, how bloody cool to take time out of his busy life to email just some dumb fan.

I drove to my parents to pick up Elvis and where I was received with loads of hugs and kisses from my Ma & Ba.  They always shower me with hugs and kisses for my birthday and to be honest I think that’s all I really want from them.  I had given my Ma strict instructions that if she was to buy me a present it had to be a naked Henry Rollins with a huge black ribbon wrapped around his neck and a black helium balloon attached to his cock.  I wanted that or nothing at all.  Did I get what I wanted?  Nope!  But I got emails!!!

In all seriousness I don’t quite understand why we get presents for birthdays.  Its not like I did anything special in fact it’s quite the opposite, I tore my mother in two and you want to reward me for that? 

If I had the choice I would ask, no I would demand that my friends and family donate money to my favourite charities.  Now that would be awesome. Now that would show me that you care.

With that I best try and rest as its now 2am and I have to be at Prahran Market by 6am!

Reney

I’m sorry, no I am sincerely sorry if this embarrasses anyone or repulses anyone for that matter but I need to talk about something that has me a tad bewildered, scared, and muddle-headed.  Okay, here goes…I had the most freakiest sex dream. For the love of baby Jesus I’m having sex dreams with Henry Rollins whilst Ian Dury looks on.

I woke up this morning and had the fuzziest head; I opened one eye and looked around.  I was sleeping side ways in my huge bed.  What the fuck?  How the fuck? I was completely disorientated.  I shut my eyes tightly and then gasped.  I instantaneously remembered what I dreamt about and I jolted out of bed and my jelly legs let me down…literally!  I smacked the floor and in the process seriously hurt myself. I heard my head go splat on the floorboards and then almost like a 7 second delay sort of thing, I felt the pain.   My entire left side from head to toe is so sore.

Then for some spastic reason I jumped up off the floor and ran for my wardrobe and opened the door and looked in.  You know I honestly believe I was still half asleep.  I then literally jumped back into bed and looked under my doona just in case Henry was in bed with me. I threw the doona off me looked at my mattress and then threw the doona back on me.

It felt so real, you know how you wake up and you could have sworn that what you dreamt about had really transpired?  I don’t want to be dreaming of Henry like this…well okay maybe just a little but it’s desecrating the image I have of Henry.  As for Ian Dury, I thought the dude was cool…but watching me bonk Henry?  Oh man, this could not have happened.

The dream was so real I could seriously feel Henry’s breath on my face, okay, lets get serious here, maybe it was Elvis’ breath I was feeling??? And Ian Dury was clapping!!! 

I got up out of my bed and slowly walked out of my room but paused in the doorway and looked over my shoulder at my bed just in case and then literally hobbled to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face.  I stood in front of the vanity and stared at my reflection and felt this wave of disgust.  Not disgust that Henry and Ian were in my dreams and in my bed but more disgust in myself. 

I went into work feeling really dirty.  All the girls usually congregate in the sterilisation room each morning where we sort of “triage” the day ahead.  I couldn’t handle being around the girls today so sort of went and sat at my desk still with brain fuzz and Miss A and Suez followed me out where I blurted my dream out.  As I was telling them what I dreamt about, I remembered more of my dream and told them that my hair was hurting today and in my dream I would pull Henry’s hair as he was about to…fuck how do I say this politely and with a bit of decorum…ummm…as Henry ejaculated.  I must have been pulling my own hair!  I couldn’t even see Henrys dick as it was covered with a fig leaf!  What is up with me?

The girls all went “ewww” and made me feel even dirtier than I was already feeling.  Why am I having sex dreams about and with Henry?  I mean this is not the first time; I have been having sex dreams with Henry for over 4 years but none were EVER this vivid.

My entire day I was anxious to get home so I cold ring my mate Easy who claims that he can analyse dreams.  The very second I got home I rang Easy and told him the whole dream and pleaded for an explanation.

Easy’s theory is that having sex with a “known” man or a “celebrity” means that he will do me a favour.  (cut to me letting out an evil snicker) Not completely satisfied with Easy’s interpretation I rang my friend Leah who claims that sex dreams are all about alleviating physical and psychic distress.  I replied with a “huh?” and told her I would see her on the weekend and hung up on her.

Maybe I am really into Ian Dury rather than Henry Rollins? Where is Freud or Jung when you need them the most?

I remember Elvis yelping last night Holy fuck what did I do to my dog? 

Reney

P.S – A warning to Tee, if you so much as even suggest that this was a wet dream I will slap your hairy arse from here to Timbuktu AND if you even suggest that I need a booty call be assured I will fly to Sydney for the sole purpose of slicing your salami off – Lorena Bobbitt style.  Got it? 

Before I say anything I have this to say.  Never ever let go of your dreams, never ever let your dream fade away, never ever lose hope.

So yesterday at work I mentioned in passing to Suez how I was thinking about going to meet Henry like JohnJohn and Samboy Chip did.  I saw this glimmer in my good friends eye and it was almost like she had something up her sleeve for me.  We discussed going to see Henry and waiting for him by the stage door and then Suez informs me that she emailed Henry and got an answer from him. (Let me add, Suez gets an answer straight away whist I have emailed the man for the past 10 years and NEVER gotten a reply – go figure?)

At first my heart missed a beat and then I thought she is trying to get a rise out of me, as I hadn’t stopped talking about Henry all morning.  When Suez actually showed me the emails in question I just held my breath.  No, no, no, this cant be happening.  No, this really can’t be happening.  Have you ever received something that has excited you so much that it has made you feel this instant wave of nausea?  Well that’s what happened.

A little side bit here, as you are aware I had a lap band placed in me last May and a no-no of having a lap band is that you need to be very and I mean VERY cautious about vomiting as there is a high risk of the band slipping off.  In other words, if ya vomit excessively you’re fucked.

So back to what I was saying, this wave of nausea appeared and slapped me harder than a dominatrix slaps her willing participant and I had to sit down.  I sat sipping water ever so slowly hoping that the nausea would go away and come 15 or so minutes later I was feeling ok.

So Suez made the plans and I just shook my head. 4 vomits and 3 diarrhoea runs later we were off.

To cut a very long story short, Henry came out of stage door exit and holy mother of God there he was right in front of me.  I have never in my life felt so in awe, gob smacked and I couldn’t breathe.  I seriously could not breathe.  JohnJohn, Samboy Chip and Suez I THINK were walking ahead of me whilst I was concentrating so hard to place one lead foot ahead of the other.  I recall telling myself, “Come on Reney, right foot step, left foot step, and right foot step, left foot step.” 

5 metres away from me stood the person whom I admire and whose words have kept me company when I have retreated from the world and you know what?  I seriously just wanted to turn around and run.  I did not want to meet him yet I could not turn away and run, as my brain just did not want to send the signals to my feet.  Man, it was fucked trying to get my head around everything.  I was concentrating on breathing, walking and not fainting.

Remember, I am not a fan of Henry Rollins because I am sexually attracted to him, nor am I a groupie of any sorts.  I am a fan of Henry the author.  This may sound weird but I didn’t want to meet him, as I was scared that it would ruin The Henry Rollins that I have floating in my head.  Do you understand what I mean? 

I recall at one point turning to Samboy Chip and asking her what do I say to Henry?  You gotta remember lack of oxygen to the brain, fear, and way too much adrenalin pulsating through my body and losing complete control of my thoughts, words and actions made me into a complete and utter stuttering fool.

JohnJohn introduced me to Henry by saying this is my sister Irene (my real name) and she has to be your number 1 fan.  Cut to me saying,” blubber flubber blah shajskhdshfjkdasfhjdkafhj” I asked him if he could sign my book and he says:

Henry: “Well yeah, sure!  To Irene right?

R: mumbles incoherently

Henry: And you spell Irene, I-R-E-N-E

R: thinking fuck how the fuck do I spell my name? (And readers please don’t laugh, as I was dead serious, I could not even spell my own fucking name) Umm, yes I-R-E-N-E. Yes that’s right! (Yeah YOU rock Reney, you can now spell your own name you dumb ass)

I digress; Henry was just the most down to earth person I have met in my life.  We had our photos taken with him and when he put his arm around me I let out this very loud “Oh, no, don’t do that” as he wrapped his arm around me and he lets out this huge “Why? Come here!” and I say “Cause I’m about to pass out” It was fucking hilarious so he grabs me and squeezes me nice and close to him. Okay Athena my left tit was just squashed up against his side and I seriously thought, Fuck!  I’m going to die, I am dead set going to die right here, right now in his arms and in my head I started to sing “Into my arms” by Nick Cave.  That was the soundtrack going on in my head! 

When Suez went to have her photo taken I let out his huge: “Nah! Don’t be touching him Suez,” which made Henry and everyone laugh (hence why he has this smirk on his face – see photo)

After the other people left we, me (the number 1 fan) had some more time with him and we all had photos taken with him and then we all said our goodbyes and I just shook his hand and said “Henry, I cant thank you enough for everything” and with that we all watched him get into his car and drive away.

Henry had to be the most warm, humble, compassionate, obliging “famous person” I have ever met he spent so much time with us.  Such a nice person and such a cool dude.

I have followed his career for the past 18 years and check his website daily for his daily dialogue and eagerly anticipate the next book, dvd, cd’s that come out.

For me it was such an honour in meeting him and I cannot really describe how I am feeling after finally meeting my hero, my muse, and my inspiration.  In a sense I owe my life to him.

I’ve spent the entire evening on the sofa in the dark thinking about last night’s events.  18 years people!  18 years of following this mans career. 18 years of having this intense feeling that one day I would meet him, I just knew that someway, somehow it was going to happen and that it did. 

Be careful for what you wish for.

Reney

Ohmigod!  Where do I begin?  I guess from the start.

I awoke this morning in the happiest moods as tonight I was finally going to see Mr. Henry Rollins up on stage.  I have been waiting for this day to come for weeks and weeks.  I have seen Henry up on stage many times (I have actually lost track of how many times I have seen the man) and he has never let me down.  Each and every show he has lifted my spirits and blown my mind in the process.

Its funny how you can wake up feeling positive and happy and instead obstacles and other people’s bullshit get thrown your way in the process.

My brother had bought me tickets for tonight’s show and all my friends wanted a ticket.  Come 10am this morning I was getting cowardly sms' from these so-called friends stating that they now couldn’t make it.  Now, I know I come across a rude, obnoxious pompous bitch but deep down I am a very sensitive person who really does have feelings and one of my major life gripes is people letting me down. 

I could write a thousand novels about each and every time a so-called friend has let me down.  What jerks me off is that I will never ever let anyone down and I always consider my friends feelings, but alas it is not reciprocated.

I digress; I thought to myself “well fuck it! If they cant, wont, don’t want to come along then their fucking loss” but what was freaking me out was the fact that I had to tell my brother who had paid for the tickets that my “friends” had all pulled out and not one of the motherfuckers had paid for their tickets. 

Which opens up a whole new can of worms.  We are all average workers on average wages and when someone has the common decency to buy you a fucking ticket is it not common courtesy to pay that person for your ticket? Regardless of whether you rock up to the gig or not.

I sat by my parent’s empty pool contemplating what I had to do next. I had to ring my brother and tell him the news.  I paced around the pool trying to find the words.  I picked up the phone, dialled his number and held by breath, as I knew what was coming.  Yes folks a huge dose of lambastes.  So JohnJohn answered and still holding my breath I told him the news.  As anticipated JohnJohn went off at me and he had every reason to. 

We hung up and I lost it.  I bawled like a 5 year old. I do not like letting people down especially my mum, dad and brother.  I am so stressed, so exhausted and my day was quickly turning to shit. Then ad my father into the mix.  He stood behind me whilst I sobbed and asked me what was wrong so through huge sobs, gulps of air, tears and snot I copped a dose from him.   He told me what everyone around told me on a daily basis - STOP putting other people before you.  STOP doing nice things for people.  RENEY needs to look after RENEY then she wont be in predicaments such as these. STOP agreeing to asking your brother to buy tickets for people who are not reliable.

Anyways…I picked Suez up at 5 and we drove into the city, found the perfect car spot and then met up with JohnJohn, Samboy Chip and my cuz GP and headed to the most amazing restaurant that I have been to in years.  The name of the restaurant is Seamstress.  It was fucking awesome and I can’t wait to go back there again.  The food is, and if I may quote their website: “ a contemporary Australasian perspective to traditional Cantonese cuisine, with some innovative South East Asian influences” The restaurant was an old fabric mill hence the name Seamstress and I wont go on about it too much but if you are interested then hit this:  www.seamstress.com.au 

Whilst enjoying the good food and company SamBoy Chip lets out this excited (and it was so fucking funny hearing her get so animated) “look that’s Chris Lilley” I looked up and freaked out.  Chris Lilley is the creator and star of this “mockumentary” called Summer Heights High (you can watch it on the ABC).  I will talk some more about this series another time but all I can say is as funny as it is I categorise it as “Disturbing Teli”.   We all oohed and ahhed and then walked across the road and headed to The Comedy Theatre to see THE MAN!

8.04pm the master appeared on stage.  There stood Henry in front of me and I swear to God I was sooo close to wetting my knickers out of sheer excitement.  Henry stood on the bare stage and basically blew my mind away for 3 intense hours.  He had me from the second he ran on stage.

At 11.12pm we all screamed and applauded and I walked out of the theatre just buzzed out.  Since my day had been so shitty I decided to head home.  Now I need you all to do me a massive favour and that is could you please all send me abusive emails calling me a dumb bitch for leaving so early.  Why? Because I drove Suez home and JohnJohn & SamBoy Chip met HENRY ROLLINS!!!   Yes folks, I leave and they get to meet the person whom I most admire, respect and think is the bee’s knees.  See above photos for evidence.

When my brother told me I lost it again. I was sitting in my car, holding the steering wheel and I just placed my head on the steering wheel and I just cried and cried and cried.  I had put it out there that I would meet Henry Rollins.  I instructed the universe and it came and what did I do?  I drove home.  I am so disappointed in myself. 

Some of you may think that I am over reacting or acting like a 16 year old but my one real dream that I have always had has been to meet Henry and to just thank him.  Thank him for his words; his words, which have in a way made me, not feel like a freak for being a strong loud opinionated person, and thank him for making me think outside the box.  All I have ever wanted to say was thank you and then just walk away. 

I will not let my dream fade; I just have to wait until he comes back to my town.

Reney

Henry is coming to town!!!

Yes my darlings! You read correctly! My Henry Rollins is coming to down to do a spoken word tour on Friday 19^th April and lucky ducky moi got a ticket.

I’ve got a ticket! I’ve got a ticket! I’ve got a ticket!  Yay!

My brother surprised me with the ticket just last week and to say I’m ecstatic would be an understatement! 

John gave me my ticket last week and I placed it in my wallet, due to all the uncertainty and drama that has been going on these last few weeks I sort of put Henry at to the back of my mind but this morning I opened up my wallet and instead of moths flying out my Henry Rollins tickets literally plopped out. 

What a way to start my day!  It gave me immense happiness and joy. Let the countdown begin…only 37 sleeps until I get to see my hero.  Imagine if I met him? Oh my God can you imagine that?  Fuck I nearly peed my pants just thinking about it.  I am very excited.

I’ve got to say it’s really nice to have something to look forward to. 

Reney