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Yes I am alive I just have been MIA. So much has been going on in my life these past few weeks and I just have not had the time to physically sit down and write my blog.
I have had my gorgeous friend Leah wanting to kill herself and even attempting once, so I have tried to be her rock and helped her through the thick of things. Thankfully she has come through to the other side and has her head screwed back on and no more stupid stunts from her.
I have had my little 4-legged furry man, Elvis at the vet with a dewclaw, cut to me being a total wreck as my little man was in a lot of pain.
Just as that cleared I was hit with the most awful news that my BossMan’s brother in law, whom was all of 31 years old died last Wednesday. The shock has thrown me to the point where it has left me questioning my own existence and re-analysing my life and what is important to and for me.
Tony, the deceased was a lovely young man who was on his journey to a great and magnificent life. I do not want to elaborate the hows and whys as I feel a great need to respect not only his privacy but also his family’s and also BossMan’s.
To hear news that a young person just literally dropped dead like that with no symptoms has left me disturbed and shaken.
I have had to take full reigns of the dental practice and control everything, which I don’t mind in the slightest as that is what I am paid to do. I have also tried to be a friend and counsellor to BossMan in his time of need, which has come rather naturally and organically for me. Overall it has been a lot of work and as tiring and exhausting as it has been I wouldn’t have changed anything for a minute.
I have tried to help BossMan and listen to him and help him through this, but how do you really help someone though this? This is something that you can’t just get over. Right? This has left my once jovial BossMan destroyed, I only pray that one-day and one day soon BossMan and Maz smile again. I know it will happen and it’s only in good time but it breaks my heart to see them like this, as I feel so helpless.
Today was the funeral, 8 days after the fact, which has been such a long and arduous process for the family but what was awesome was that it had to be the most beautiful, composed, dignified and loving funeral I have ever been to.
So having just got home and thinking about my day has me wanting to appreciate each and every person I have in my life and wanting me to hug all of them and tell them how much I love them.
Anyways…I am alive and I am here now so stay tuned for more posts from me.
Peace Out!
Reney
I had the wonderful opportunity of knocking off work early today and I raced to the local shopping centre to be re-fitted for a new titslinger also known as a bra.
So into David Jones I went and walked into the lingerie department and drooled. I love lingerie and I think I could spend my entire pay on matching knickers and bras. I looked around the department store and ohhhed and ahhed at everything and could not stop touching everything around me. Goodness I love lingerie.
Since I have been losing weight my girls are thankfully deflating and starting to sag they are. I feel that they are sagging so much that they are down in my shoes. Gross hey?
I picked up a few really cute bras and went into the changing room with a bra fitter as company. I usually have no shame about exposing my body to anybody, and I have said it before, as long as I’m not treated like a porno object then I’m cool.
So the lady was without a doubt a member of the grey rinse brigade and had a delightfully old fashioned name of Winsome. She walked into the changing room with me and quietly closed the door behind us. I had to chuckle inwardly as her movements were so precise and so quiet.
W: All right darling, off comes your sweater.
Reney thinking: Shit, it’s a jumper not a sweater; a sweater is rather old-fashioned terminology.
I turned my back only to be surrounded by mirrors, floor length mirrors on all 3 walls and door. Fucking great!
So I stripped off, bar my current bra on for the delightful Winsome and then had her with her tape measure take my measurements and declare with certainty that I was a 14 C to D cup depending on the shape and style.
W: They wont do darling she said as she looked through my bras.
Idiot me had picked up lovely bras but all too big. That’s what I still struggle with, knowing and recognising my current shape and size. I always go for the extra larges or the larges when I’m really down to around about a medium. When will I be able to let go of this? When will I be able to appreciate that I am shrinking? I know its just a matter of time, they say that the head is the last thing to change when it comes to weight loss.
Winsome came back with all the correct sizes and I tried them on for her whilst she fondled my breasts. I had the most uncomfortable look on my face and the 4 mirrors surrounding me just mirrored my expression.
W: Now, darling, turn around for me and do the shimmy for me.
Reney thinking: Shimmy? Is she cracking on to me? What next? Is she going to start placing money in my cup?
I did, as I was told grimacing in utter embarrassment and shame and breaking out into a severe sweat.
I got dressed after being fondled by Winsome and raced out of the changing room and paid for my bras and knickers and then ran out of the department store like a banshee out of hell.
What we women go through! I don’t see men having their balls fondled with when they have to buy their underwear!
Reney
Today has been a rather intense sort of day for me. Poor Leah, my strong warrior woman friend has been a basket case and I have been running from my place to hers to check up on her.
I arrived on her doorstep this morning at 7am and Leah looked fucked, she hasn’t slept since Friday night and she is upset and angry. I cleaned her home up as best as I could and put her to bed and then decided to empty her home of all medicines and alcohol as she has hinted that she wants to end it all.
Relationships are just so bloody hard. They are fun I guess when things are good but when things are bad they are bad. I so am glad to be single.
I stayed with her as much as I could and kept driving backwards and forwards to check up on her. I managed to pinch her mobile phone and rang her sister who was unaware as to what was happening with Leah and I waited for her to show so I could leave. I feel like a low life for bailing but I had to go yet could not leave Leah on her own.
I’m worried sick about my friend and hope she can get through this!
Reney
I WONT SPOIL IT I PROMISE!!!
I won’t even talk about any part of the movie
Vie and I hit VMax and saw Sex and The City. I have not laughed and cried so much in a movie in such a long time. I’ve never done VMax before and I was gob smacked with the size of the place.
We had a great night but I sooked like a 5 year old at one point. I’m no hardarse; I am just a big softie at heart. The girls were amazing and the character “Samantha” was hilarious! I was screaming from laughter. Their clothes were breathtaking, the shoes were to die for and in one scene Carrie was holding this handbag that was all mirrored and shaped as the Eiffel Tower, which was just stunning.
Since I cant really talk much more about the movie there isn’t much more to say. Go and see it!!!
Reney
Suez and I hit the Uber Gallery in St Kilda today and my oh my what a great time we had!
Uber Gallery is located in St Kilda (52 Fitzroy Street, St. Kilda) and is a gallery that is devoted to visual arts and I guess more on the contemporary feel. Hit this if you are interested: www.ubergallery.com
The exhibition we viewed was Acts of War II by Hamad Khalaf and it was interesting to say the least. The artist has been to Kuwait and bought back war artefacts, things like a water bottle, gas masks, army boots, war helmets, chemical warfare gloves, mines and so forth. The artist has illustrated them with a very Greek mythological theme.
Being that I am of Greek origin I was really rather drawn and fascinated by them but on closer inspection they were painted with penises, erect penises, and vaginas. Sounds rather crass but there was a beauty to them.
Suez and I had a good look around and then headed to my favourite café/restaurant in St Kilda, The Fringe where we had an intense conversation and I guess in a sense I really opened up to Suez and told her about my very horrific relationship with The Psycho. I have never really spoken about him and that subject is one that I have tucked away in a space or a part of my brain that I refer to as “Do not cross, Do not enter’. I felt rather calm talking about it and for the first time EVER and to anyone I opened up and told her PARTS of the bad time I had.
Did I feel better talking about it? No not really I actually felt rather ill but I do not regret speaking about it. I just feel violently ill when I do.
That’s what I love about Suez the fact that she takes the time to get to know ME, and she doesn’t dig to get information out of you she has this very warm side to her that compels you to divulge a bit of yourself.
I don’t speak about The Psycho to anyone and people that have asked I guess I give them a very sedate version of events.
I told Suez how when I was with The Psycho I had told Vie, Tee and my mum that if anything was to happen to me, or if they didn’t know where I was or they couldn’t find me then KNOW that The Psycho had done something to me. It was a rough time for me but one that taught me survival. Kill or be killed in a sense. Anyways, enough about him as I don’t want to talk about The Psycho.
Anyway, if you are ever in St Kilda and have a spare 30 minutes or so may I suggest you go and visit the Uber Gallery as its truly great and I cant wait for their next exhibition.
Reney
I haven’t had the opportunity to actually sit down and write my blog and I have been so eager to tell. My apologies for my tardiness!
I have an amazing and wonderful and supportive friend called Leah who arrived on my doorstep on Tuesday night in a horrific state. Yes. Boy troubles! We cant live with them we cant live without them. A cliché comment but one that is so true!
Leah is a very strong woman who takes no shit and is always, and when I say always I mean ALWAYS is happy, positive and very much a realist. Leah is the type of girl who always is dressed and made up immaculately. Not a hair out of place and always in the latest gear.
So the doorbell rang on Tuesday and there she stood looking atrocious. She was in her old battered cargo pants a tank and a hoody. I was surprised to see her and my initial reaction was “oh-oh” something aint right here. I let her in and as she took a step in she burst into tears and literally fell into my arms.
To say I was shocked would most definitely be an understatement. Leah is always so “together” and composed and a real lady and here I was seeing her sob and I didn’t know why.
We sat on the sofa and through tears she told me all about her pain. I didn’t say anything I just sat and listened to her and handed her tissues and wiped some of her tears away. I thought I best not interrupt her or ask any questions as here was my friend having a breakdown and she needed to get her angst off her chest.
To cut a long story short seems her husband has done some pretty bad things. Which I can’t really go into as I think her husband SS is a really wonderful person and as harsh as this sounds I have only heard Leah’s side of the story so I cant or wont judge him. Now I am not defending him but these are Leah’s claims against him and I need to speak to him before I pass judgement.
Their marriage is over and I doubt very much that any sort of reconciliation is in the pipeline. I guess when it’s done its done. It amazes me that as an outsider looking in to this marriage I thought everything was just peachy, but I guess behind closed doors things were happening.
So the past few nights I have had Leah over and we have been drinking vodka lime and sodas and I have been getting a tad on the drunk side. Due to my little silicone friend that I have inside me alcohol has been a DO NOT ENTER part of my life this past year. Surprisingly I have been having a few drinks and I have been getting really drunk and I am loving it. I was not having as much as Leah but enough to make the entire room spin for ages. Ohhhh the joys of alcohol. My liver though has sent signs to my brain saying: Stop now Reney, as I am about to pack up on you.
The other night (and I cant even quite remember which night it was exactly) Leah organised a cab to pick her up to take her home. The cab arrived and then 20 minutes the doorbell rang again and she was back with another bottle of Absolut Vodka.
I can only hope that Leah can get through this and I hope that I can be a good friend for her and help her out as much as I can. I can only really be an ear for her, you know someone to just listen to her and I hope I can make her laugh a little bit. Heart break just sucks!
It amuses me that when people split up from their partners I usually am force-fed the following comments: You are so clever remaining single. Stay the way you are Reney. They say that NOW, when they first meet their partners I am a fool for not allowing myself to fall in love. Ahhh people we are all so weird aren’t we? We are also such fragile little beings are we not? We all act tough and strong yet when reality comes slamming in our faces we actually retreat I think to who we really are as people.
I guess we wear our character or our personality like it’s a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. We show it off and act strong and feisty and nothing can touch us yet the second something negative happens and we are forced to feel pain we are no longer strong independent opinionated self-righteous, feisty. I guess we are all just a bag of emotional uncertainty. We are all the same aren’t we? No matter if you are rich or poor, green or blue we all feel pain the very exact same way. We all hurt and if I may quote Michel Stipe from REM: Everybody hurts sometime.
Reney
I have a Facebook profile and it used to be fun. A new medium or social network for chatting to friends and family and having a laugh. One of my daily rituals each and every morning was to log on and see what was going on with my friends and family. Yeah, yeah I hear ya, here she goes talking about her daily rituals.
I found a long lost high school friend (part of the freak squad) after 20 years and I found a cousin who I haven’t seen or spoken to for 15 years as she has moved overseas and we lost touch.
Facebook was fun for a while and then it got ridiculous as I had my email inbox with 100+ requests for some Facebook applications on a daily basis that friends wanted me to join. I ended up having to make up an entirely new email address strictly for Facebook rubbish. It got so out of control that I asked friends to stop sending me applications as it was nuts!
I used to enjoying having a play but its all turned sour. Today just did it for me when I had a tool tell me that he wanted to hmm how to put this nicely…ejaculate all over my face. I was shocked and then I cried (I’m not the hardarse I think I am) and then after a few hours I started to laugh as I saw the humour in it. What a fucking idiot!
It has me thinking though Facebook has just become a new way to pick up a fuck buddy, which if you are in to that then good for you, enjoy yourselves, but for me I am not after that. If I was then I think a nightclub or pub would be easier to “pick up” as you can get to see the person in some sort of illuminated light.
I had a good chat with a mate of mine who was in the same predicament and he was so angry that he too had been propositioned (and his wife found out about it) so he ended up deleting his profile. I toyed with the idea of deleting my profile or making it private and then I thought what the fuck for? If I do that then tools like the one I had throw himself onto me win. Right?
What’s gotten into this world? Where has the whole courtship of relationships gone? I understand the whole “try before you buy” things but I know that I, as a woman, would much rather prefer to meet a man out in this huge wide world of ours and have chemistry or attraction towards one another, go on a date, see if we connect and take things from there not this “Hi wanna fuck?” Do these dickheads really think that a sane person is going to say “Sure! Your place or mine? Meet you in an hour?”
I’m coming across as rather prudish I know, but seriously should Facebook be now called Fuckbook?
Reney
P.S - Give me Twitter ANY DAY!!!
Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest alas in this single gal’s life it just seems to be another day of me running around like a maniac trying to catch up with family and friends and trying to find some “me” time.
I managed to squeeze in a Bikram Yoga class this morning at 6am. My Yogini had a special class for her favourite students and I was touched to be considered one of her “favourites”. I parked my car as far as away as I possibly could so I could run to the centre to warm up, as it was sooo freezing this morning.
The class was a motherfucker and it hurt me like you wouldn’t believe. I think I was really over stretching and pushing myself. Which has me thinking why do I always have to push myself so hard? Whether it be in yoga or at work or in my life in general I push so hard and then push myself some more. I’m sure that the fact that I only managed 2 hours sleep didn’t help either.
My good friend Paula and I then caught up for brunch at The Fringe once again and thankfully no spew from me (not like last time) and I have finally convinced Paula that I am not pregnant. I think the tight fighting clothes showed her that there was no baby bump present. Lady humps yes, baby bumps no.
Throughout the remainder of my day I was catching up with friends along the way and as nice as it is it has left me exhausted. It’s a good exhausted though.
I then cleaned my home and sat down to research some thing that I needed to and then spent the majority of the evening chatting to a friend via Facebook’s version of msn. It amazes me how I hardly get to actually speak to people whether it be face to face or via telephone anymore. Everyone just seems to be so busy that we only "chat" via Facebook, msn, sms or emails. What's this world coming to?
Its now 11.45pm and I need to shower and get my crap together for work tomorrow!
Its hard work being Single in the City but you know I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Reney
I went out to dinner tonight with Gee and the little chickens and we hit Zagames in Caulfield (www.zagames.com.au) where it was filled to the rafters and jam packed with kids who must have had way too many preservatives in their meal or they had too much red cordial to drink. It was chaos!
We decided to hit Zagames as its family friendly and has an indoor playground for the little chickens to run a muck in. We were seated directly in front of the kid’s playground and all I can say is that there were kids everywhere. Now don’t get me wrong, just because I have stated that I wont be having my own family I do love children. I love their innocence; their honesty and I love conversing with them, as I love to listen to their observations on life. They have a raw honesty that we adults have lost. Alas, tonight just convinced me that my ovaries need to be dissected and done so rather quickly.
This evening was just a killer as we were surrounded by psycho little lunatics whose parents could not give a shit that their little angels had become fucking satanic little bastards. I appreciate that parents need a break; I understand that parents want to have fun too and enjoy their meal and the company but for fucks sake rein your kids in!
To make the evening even more tedious was the fact that there was a lady sitting on the table next to us who had the most annoying high pitched squeal I had ever heard. Her voice was one that felt like nails running down a chalkboard and she was so loud. At one point I actually coughed into my palm and at the same time shouted “Shut up” but what was funnier was that Gee did the exact same thing at the exact same time. It was hilarious!
I turned and looked at Gee and said that I NOW understood why some men cheat on their wives, if I was married to this woman I would be having clandestine affairs with other women (no hate mail about the sanctity of marriage as I don’t believe in that shit) or up for either spousal abuse or turn homosexual.
The entire evening all we could hear were the kids going off and this woman’s voice, and to think she was only speaking to her friends holy mother of God I would hate to think what her angry screaming voice would be like. Oh man I’ve just had a vision flash in my head; I am imagining her voice screaming during sex. Fuck her poor husband!
I feel ill I need to take a Panadol and a have a lie down!
Reney
I had a weird moment today and one that has left me asking: Is kissing in a awaiting room appropriate?
There I sat deep in concentration work mode when I heard these weird noises coming form the waiting room. They were kissy kissy noised and then cheeky giggling. I thought to myself well okay there must be a couple being affectionate (imagine Reney poking her fingers down her throat at it) but whatever! I have a shit load to do so I kept working.
The next thing I heard were these moan like noises then giggles. I looked up and saw a couple in their mid 30’s full on pashing in the waiting room. He had his hand under her jumper groping and she was moaning and groaning and then giggling. I automatically ducked my head back down behind the work counter as I actually felt like I walked in on something that I was not supposed to see.
A few moments later I see the woman get up off her seat and then sit in her partners lap and then a full on tongue and spit swap fest was on. Like ewww!
Now, I am not overtly romantic, I am not the type of person that feels the insatiable need to show affection towards my partner in public all the time. I feel that there is a time and a place and what I do behind closed doors whether it be affection/lust/horniness I do within the confines of my 4 walls. I am not asexual I just feel that a full on pash and grope in a dentists waiting room is really inappropriate. Don’t you think? Or am I just fucked up in the head?
This episode today had me thinking some more, if these two were teenagers or in their mid 20’s I sort of get it but these two were both in their mid 30’s. I felt like I was intruding on their private moment and I am not into voyeurism yet I was sort of made to feel like I was “in” on their little game. Like ewww! (Where is the holy water? I feel like I need to be bathed in the stuff as I feel really dirty and evil)
Maybe I am just a cynical bitter twisted human being that needs to take a box of chill pills.
Kiss Kiss
Reney
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