Wednesday 07th May 2008 – Specimen 123...

I work with two young-uns who bicker like young girls do, who expect me to mother them and who have a lot of attitude and they can annoy the fuck out of me but deep down when you strip away the bullshit and what I refer to as their “shop front” they are good kids.  As much as their bullshit annoys the life out of me I feel rather protective of them at the same time.

Having said that we have a “professional” that works with us who is in her early 20’s and she too is lovely young girl but there’s something about her that is strange, confusing and weird.  I usually like weird but this is a different type of weird.  I guess that there is something about her that I cant quite put my finger on.  I will refer to her as Specimen 123. 

Specimen 123 like I mentioned is a lovely girl but is just so boring and dreary.  I have never met a young person who is so flat line, so stale, so boring, and so monotonous.  You look at her and there is no life behind her eyes, there is no fire burning within her.  Her voice is this nasally monotone drone that has me seriously wanting to stab my eardrum with a pencil repetitively.

Specimen 123 walked into work today and the second I heard her I felt my intestines twist.  Every time I have seen her she does nothing but complain about something in that drone. But that’s all she does.  She only complains. Today was no different and at one point she started whining so I excused myself whilst she was mid-sentence and I literally walked out of the building, as I just needed some air.   I knew that if I didn’t walk away I was going to scream at her.

Now I know I come across as a loud obnoxious smart arse and yes I am that, but if you were to strip my “shop front” down I am very courteous and I believe that I have good manners.  I always try to be nice even when I am telling someone off but with Specimen 123 she exasperates and bores me to point of no return and leaves me wanting to scream:  “Why won’t you just fuck off!!!”

I can converse with anyone; I do it all day long. I will chat with patients with people on the phone with my work colleagues.  If I’m out and about I will find someone to talk to.   But in this case, Specimen 123, I have absolutely nothing to say to her.  The girl is that boring.  I know I sometimes tend to intimidate people and I can come across as rather aggressive and I thought that Specimen 123 was just intimidated by me, as I am her boss but today proved me otherwise.

Miss A walks out of the surgery today and sits down next to me in angst.  Seems she can’t handle Specimen 123 at all. Which was a blessing for me as I thought it was just me that felt this way.

I sometimes sit back and watch Specimen 123 and really observe her.  (Yeah it’s a bad thing I do, but I like to sit back and watch people and see how the interact) It saddens me that a girl in her young 20’s is not out there enjoying life and doing wild and wacky things.  Experiencing life.

I want to grab her and shake her and tell her to go out, let her hair down and enjoy her life.  I’m not talking about going out getting drunk and having a random shag. I mean having some innocent, harmless fun.   

An example of what it’s like trying to get down to her level and trying to relate and communicate with her:

R: So what did you do on the weekend Specimen 123?

S123: I stayed home with mum and dad.

R: So Specimen 123 read any good books lately?

S123: No I don’t read much

R: So Specimen 123, been out dancing lately?

S123: No I don’t dance much

R: So Specimen 123 been to any good movies lately? 

S123: No not really

R: So Specimen 123 whatcha been listening to lately? Any cool music? 

S123: Umm no not really

R: So Specimen 123, do you like going shopping with your girlfriends? 

S123: Sometimes

Do you get the jist of our interaction?  I have tried all angles, all approaches and come up with a huge cold pile of nothing.   So deadpan, so boring.  It confuses me as I watch our young-uns Miss A and Miss D who have so much electric energy pulsating through them that you can actually feel it and then I compare Specimen 123 who is the total opposite.  I guess I feed off peoples emotions which is a good thing and a bad thing but this girl gives me (and the rest of my work colleagues by the sounds of things) nothing.

When I was her age I was full of life, full of fun and full of adventure and I guess at the end of the day just because I was like that I maybe expect everyone around me to be like that.

This is going to sound rather crass but I have to say it.  I don’t think she has ever been touched down there before (and that’s not a bad thing, each to his own) but its like nothing in life has ever excited her and nothing seems to excite her in the here and now.

Maybe she just doesn’t like me.  Maybe that’s the real problem.  Maybe I am just a fruitcake in her eyes.  Maybe I am just too uber-bitch for her.

Reney