Monday 05th May 2008 – Still gutted…

I’m feeling flat, I’m feeling ill, I’m feeling gutted, I’m feeling blah!

BossMan tried to talk conspiracy theories with me today and as much as I usually like to throw shit into the mix and run my mouth today saw me really withdrawing from everyone around me.  

When I am in my “moods” I always allow myself 24 hours to fester in my mood and then it has to leave me.  Alas, the accidental yet weird way I found out about Pete’s death has thrown me and my mood and sadness just doesn’t want to go away.

I have been sitting here in utter silence and thinking about the all good times we had and remembering happy Pete & happy Angry. At least I can say that every time I think about Pete I remember him smiling and his high pitched laugh and how much he adored my friend Angry.  I can only hope that Angry is OK,  as OK as any widow can be.  I just need to find her.  

In circumstances such as these this is when I think the Privacy Act & The Freedom of Information Act is a crock of fucking shit.  I have tried every avenue possible and I am unable to find my friend.  I wont give up!

I understand that death is unavoidable and its something that we usually have no control over and one day we are all going to die and I am cool with death.  When I say cool I mean I am ok with it.  I aint ready to die quite yet (funny that just a few years back I was more than ready for it) but anyways…I don’t want to be bringing everyone down!

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully a much better entry from me.

Reney